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You Have Died of Standing Up Too Fast T-Shirt
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  • You Have Died of Standing Up Too Fast T-Shirt
  • You Have Died of Standing Up Too Fast T-Shirt
  • You Have Died of Standing Up Too Fast T-Shirt
  • You Have Died of Standing Up Too Fast T-Shirt
  • You Have Died of Standing Up Too Fast T-Shirt
  • You Have Died of Standing Up Too Fast T-Shirt
  • You Have Died of Standing Up Too Fast T-Shirt
  • You Have Died of Standing Up Too Fast T-Shirt
  • You Have Died of Standing Up Too Fast T-Shirt
  • You Have Died of Standing Up Too Fast T-Shirt
  • You Have Died of Standing Up Too Fast T-Shirt
  • You Have Died of Standing Up Too Fast T-Shirt
 
You Have Died of Standing Up Too Fast T-Shirt
You Have Died of Standing Up Too Fast T-Shirt
Color: Military Green
Size: Please choose a size
Size Guide
$39.99 $29.99
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Description

💪 The Gear That Gets You (Through Your Warm-Up)

Made from 100% ring-spun cotton because if you're gonna move slower than you did in your twenties, you might as well be comfortable doing it. Premium material that runs true to size - fits the body you actually have, not the one from high school. Made and shipped in the USA. Double-needle stitching because this shirt is built to outlast your knees. Pre-shrunk so it won't change size on you - your mobility range has that covered already. Soft, breathable fabric for workouts, "active recovery" (sitting), and post-gym naps. Tear-away label because you've got enough irritating you already. Perfect for the gym, the hardware store, and explaining your workout split to anyone who'll listen. 

Because the real flex is just showing up.
Premium Everyday Comfort

100% Ring Spun Cotton - Softer than your excuses for skipping leg day. Stronger than your knees used to be. More durable than your commitment to "start Monday."

Pre-Shrunk - Because the only thing that should be shrinking is your list of exercises you can still do without tweaking something.

Breathable 4.5 oz Fabric - Light enough you'll forget you're wearing it. Unlike that PR you set in 2018—you'll never forget that.

True-to-Size Unisex Fit - Relaxed silhouette that fits from "I'm bulking" to "I swear I'm cutting soon". No judgment, just comfort.
Built to Last

Reinforced Durability - Double-needle stitching at all the critical points. Because this shirt will outlast your rotator cuffs, and that's saying something.

Seamless Collar - Quarter-turned construction keeps its shape longer than you can hold a plank.

Tear-Away Label - Tagless comfort. Removes clean—unlike the memory of that time you pulled your hamstring reaching for the remote.
Free & Easy Returns

30-Day Money Back Guarantee - Love it or return it. We're confident in our shirts. Unlike your knees, we stand behind our product.

Printed in the USA - Designed, printed, and shipped domestically. Because waiting 6 weeks only makes sense between deadlifting sessions.

Related products

Amazing Comfort and Style

Soft, Skin-Friendly Comfort - Because your body's already mad at you. Your shirt shouldn't be.

Built to Last - Crafted for the long haul. Whether you're grinding through a workout, half-assing some cardio, or mostly just thinking about working out while sitting in your car in the gym parking lot.

Comfortable Under Pressure - Designed to keep you comfortable while pushing your limits. Or at least pushing through the pain of getting older while refusing to admit it.

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FAQ's

Where are you located?

We are a US-based company. We print our t-shirts right here in the USA, like all US companies should. We have printers in both Florida and Texas.

For our international customers, we have partnered with printers around the globe to ensure your order reaches you as quickly as possible.

Do you ship internationally?

Absolutely! We ship worldwide so you can enjoy our products no matter where you are. Shipping rates vary by location, so be sure to check our shipping policy for details specific to your area.
Will I get a tracking number for my order?

Yes! Once your order ships, you'll receive a tracking email with a special number so you can follow your package's journey—right to your doorstep.
What materials are your products made of?

We use high-quality, comfy materials for all our tees—soft enough for cuddles, durable enough for playtime, and gentle on the skin. Exact materials may vary depending on the item, but you’ll find the details on each product page.